During my run today I was thinking about how I felt. It’s been far too long since I made it out to pound the pavement (‘pound’! Get me! It’s probably more of a ‘tickle’…) and I subsequently had mixed feelings. Lead legs. Tight chest. Snivelling thanks to hayfever. Sluggish thanks to hayfever meds (‘one a day’ my arse). Proud because I was out there, doing it. I could have stayed at home, but thankfully I have a usually-pretty-awesome husband who encouraged me to go. That was another thing I realised I felt – thankful.
Not just for the friendly kick up the (increasingly lardy) backside from my other half, but thankful that I’m able to run at all – thankful my legs work and thankful for my health. Also, I felt thankful to be able to run straight from my front door – no crazy traffic, a comparatively low risk of danger, some pretty decent routes if you squint and only look at one side of the road. I felt thankful to know when I got home there would be a hot shower and a cold glass of water on offer and a fairly well-stocked fridge to help me refuel. There would also be two smiley little (and hopefully one big, depending on how the two little ones had behaved) faces to greet me.
I used to love an acronym when I managed a team (it’s safe to say they were a lot less keen…) but as I ran I came up with this little one just for myself – and for anyone else as corny as me who might need help paying attention to how they’re feeling:
F. E. E. L: F*ck everything else & LIVE.
Sure, you can’t help how you feel about things; the kids will almost certainly do my head in tomorrow, as will the dog (and probably the husband) and I can’t help how I feel about that – but what I can change is how I respond and which of the many feelings I experience in a day to treasure in order to live my life to the fullest.
So instead of being shouty and then allowing guilt to hang over me like a grey cloud for the rest of the day, I’m going to try my best to think “f*ck everything else and LIVE” (F. E. E. L.) and focus on the more positive feelings I’m experiencing. I’ll feel annoyed they are arguing, stressed they’re making mess, fed-up of the constant bickering, frustrated when they’re being unhelpful, etc, but I’m going to make an effort to try harder to appreciate all the things I’m thankful for, all the nice things I’m feeling – because love and gratitude beat guilt and stress hands down.