Gainful Employment

Here are 10 things I miss about my old job now I’ve been a bonafide Stay at Home Mum for a whole year: 

1. Getting paid. Working for free sucks. Especially when the hours are antisocial and your co-workers expect you to literally wipe their arses.

2. Stealing stationery. Oh come on, anyone who works in an office does it. Perks of the job. I had to BUY PENS last week. I felt violated. 

3. Being paid to poo. Some people can’t do a number 2 at work. I was not one of them. I should also incorporate “pooing alone” into this one. Sigh. 

4. The office franking machine. MAN ALIVE stamps are expensive. I’m not saying I would ever have exploited my ex-employer by franking every single one of our wedding invitations at all. Mailing them to our next door neighbours would have been totally ridiculous. 

5. My work wardrobe. Oof I used to own some beautiful dresses, ones which sadly just wouldn’t work at the park. So I sold them. Sob. I now live in jeans, dungarees and sometimes (often) pyjamas. I don’t expect much sympathy for this one.
6. Being paid expenses. I can’t tell you how annoying it is to drive everywhere for NO PETROL MONEY after being used to a generous expenses system reimbursing every journey. 

7. Hot drinks. Making them. Drinking them. Chatting about making them. Having them made for you. Just, all of it. 

8. Free lunches. Lunch meeting? YES PLEASE. Free food tastes better. It just does. 

9. Adult conversation. See my previous blog Enough said. 

10. Getting paid. There are some things money can’t buy. But it can buy you food. And a place to live. Which is sort of important. Yeah, yeah, I might have mentioned it before, but it’s a biggie. Thankfully you can’t put a price on time with your wee ones, and I feel lucky every single day that I get to stay home with them. Not all day every day, because I do still have to wipe those sh*tty arses after all, but every day nonetheless. 


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