According to Oliver James, PhD, ‘Lovebombing’ is a way to “reset your child’s emotional thermostat” by showering them with your undivided love, affection and time. It’s the complete opposite to a timeout and can take place wherever you like, for as long as you like.
Lately, I have been increasingly aware our little Rose was in desperate need of some one-on-one Mama time – her recent attention-seeking behaviour being the first (very unsubtle) hint, and secondly, the alarming realisation that we currently get just three hours a week together, just the two of us, now she’s at Preschool three days a week and her little sister is with us the rest of the time.
With this in mind, I planned a Saturday out for us last month and Nan was lined-up to look after Rose’s little sister, Willow, while Daddy T was at work. We talked about it a few days before, I had everything sorted and were both super excited – until the night before our LB expedition, when Willow dropped a bomb of her own: only this one was made of vomit, not love, and it put our plans on immediate hold.
Well, today, Rose and I finally had our first official Lovebomb. We had planned a family shopping trip today as the girls needed new coats and I had a few bits I’d ordered online to return, then Daddy T suggested it might be nice for me and Rose to make a day of it, just the two of us, as we hadn’t yet managed to rearrange our day out.
We had such a brilliant time. It started with a mooch around the shops, then we enjoyed some delicious lunch, more shopping and a scrummy hot chocolate pit stop before we headed home.
I have honestly lost count of the amount of spontaneous cuddles, big smooches, “I love you, Mummy”s and actually have no idea how many times Rose asked me to confirm: “This is a lovely day, innit Mum?” and I really don’t think her opinion was based on the food we ate, or the stuff we bought. Despite being a toy-mad three year old, we often ask what she would like to do as the weekend approaches and she simply says “let’s just play together at home”, bless her beautiful heart. Today we had each other all to ourselves and you can’t put a price on that.
Turns out, it wasn’t just Rose who needed a LB, because I feel absolutely bloody wonderful this evening. I cannot recommend Lovebombing enough. And you really don’t have to call it that, I promise: Just. Make. Time. Today really showed me how much we need to slow down, put our phones away (aside from taking silly selfies to capture the magic of the day, of course), stop rushing through moments we should be savouring and just be together, having fun. I vow to make the most of every LB opportunity for me and my big girl – when we are home and Willow naps, my phone will be away and Rose and I will be doing whatever her heart desires, just the two of us, because for our little Posey ‘Love’ is spelled T-I-M-E and we all know how precious that really is ❤️