#1 Always look your best
There are no such things as ‘fancy clothes’ or ‘party dresses’. Always wear the most sparkly, most beautiful, most glittery clothes you can find. If you can’t “spin in it” it’s no good.
#2 If you aren’t sure, ask a question
Ask questions about everything you see. Repeatedly, even if you already know the answer. Ask constantly until someone gives you the answer you want. If it seems like you are being ignored or if you can hear other people talking to each other but not to you, ask louder and louder until they answer. Never wait. When they do answer, always follow up with at least three probing questions – most effective = “Why?”
#3 Take your time
Especially if you’re being told to rush. If you hear the words “hurry up” or “come on”, linger a little longer and walk a little slower. Until you hear “we’re going to be late” you really do have all the time in the world.
#4 Use your sense of touch
Ladybirds, worms, flowers, sand, cat poo. All need to be felt to be appreciated. Ideally, run your hand along any surface you can reach, especially in shops as things quite frequently fall off shelves, and that’s just loads of fun. Never, ever worry about splinters.
Not just a chuckle. Laugh uncontrollably. Preferably until you get hiccups.
#6 Get excited
About everything. Including trips to the supermarket, even though you already went every other day this week because Mummy is tired & forgetful. It is a wondrous place which deserves fanfare and screeching.
#7 Insist people call you Princess
Because… Well, why not?
#8 Clear your To Do list before bed
Twelve wees? Check.
Four ‘snuggles’ x both parents? Check.
X cuddly toy removed from room? Check.
X cuddly toy repositioned in bedroom? Check.
Labels removed from clothing? Check.
Change blanket for alternative? Check.
Socks on? Check.
Night light on? Check.
Change blanket back to original? Check.
Night light off? Check.
Demand extra snuggles for good luck? Check.
Socks off? Check.
Night light on again? Check.
Insist Mummy comes back in to touch the palm of your hand, but only when she’s made it to the living room to sit down? Check.
One last wee? Check.
#9 Ensure younger sibling knows how much you love them
Embed this message through lots of nose-to-nose squealing, bone-crushing cuddles and yelling “NO SHE’S NOT YOURS, SHE’S MINE!” to any stranger who acknowledges her. Mark your territory with dribble, orange crisp dust and eye bogies.
State your adoration loudly and frequently. Mummy, Daddy, Nanny, Grandad, lamposts, gravel, swings, trolleys, chips. Whatever takes your fancy. Love generously and without reservation.