My friends are incredible. I’m sure most people would say that about their friends or they wouldn’t BE their friends, right?! Wrong. I know lots of people who remain friends with toxic people. Either through loyalty due to the number of years they’ve known each other or through perhaps hoping they might change one day, reverting back to that lovely person they used to get on so well with.
As I entered my thirties I didn’t really expect I would make any new close friends but then I started having babies and was lucky enough to meet one fabulous new Mummy friend and also get back in touch with some old school/work/netball friends who were having children at the same time as me. These are the people who keep me sane from a parenting perspective. They appear on my Whatsapp chat list like twinkling stars on a frosty night. I know they are there, poised, waiting to offer support, comfort and mutual-eye rolls when Mummy-crises arise. A lot of them were in my life already, but it wasn’t until we had kids that we were given the opportunity to really enjoy each other’s company.
I recently made a new Mummy friend who turned out to be one of those toxic ones I mentioned earlier. She sadly had issues and projected these onto me, making me doubt myself and hurting my feelings along the way. I felt upset to lose her, but soon realised I am far better off without someone dragging me down because of their negative attitude towards themselves and life in general. The whole situation surprised me really. We became close so quickly and even more quickly than that, she was gone. At 32 years old I think I expected any new friends to become lifelong ones as we learn to be so guarded about who we open up to. On reflection, I’m glad it happened as it taught me a lesson about who my real friends are, and helped me to really appreciate the glue that bonds me to those special few people in my life.
Having things in common, being generally like-minded and sharing experiences has cemented the solid foundations between me and the women in my friendship group. Time served isn’t a factor, two of my closest friends have been in my life for well over 15 years and one for just under three years, but we are just as close as we have shared so much, talked so much, and been there for each other through some tough times and I know they are there for me no matter what. I don’t see them as often as I would like because life takes over, but they would drop everything for me, and me for them, and in fact one of them did only yesterday. (Thank you again). Along with my brilliant sisters (that includes you, BSF) and my partner, these people are my support system.
I recently met up with one of my best friends and as we enjoyed a meal, we laughed about silly things, talked til the cows came home and I felt giddy with how lovely it was to be there, in that moment, sharing some precious time together. And time really is precious, so my advice would be to cut-out the dead wood. That might sound harsh, but we wouldn’t stay in a bad relationship for life, so why do people insist on keeping rubbish friendships ticking along? Life is too short to be spending time with someone you wish you weren’t.
So, to all of my wonderful friends – I count myself incredibly lucky to know you, to be able to call you a friend of mine and I just want to say thank you – you make me laugh, you tell it like it is, you make me grateful, make me proud of myself, reassure me and listen to me – and I can only hope you feel that in return because I am always here for you too x x x